Love has no agenda …

We’ve all tried to put what we hoped a hot prospect would see as our “best foot” forward, while trying to hide our “worst foot.” Predictably, we fall on our face.

If we want an enduring relationship, we have to stand on our own two feet, the truth of who we are, for better or worse. There’s nothing more liberating or satisfying, but that’s a little known — or experienced — fact.

Why? When we fall on our face, instead of getting the lesson, we’re apt to lose some of our confidence … and the more confidence we lose, the more scared we are to gamble with what little we have left.

Thus, we find ourselves trying to have heart-to-heart talks and relationships while shielding our hearts and stumbling over our own two feet. We think that if we can just manage to keep our “flaws” under wraps until after the “I-dos,” everything will be OK.

When it’s not, we can learn from it, or we can reinforce our defenses and keep our distance. Enter the emotionally unavailable.

By hiding the pieces of ourselves that we fear will be rejected, we live a lonely existence, regardless of how visible we make our facade in the process.… More

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Whether I write about breaking up or compatibility or communication, it always comes down to the same thing — know and love who you are; so that you can share all of you with enthusiasm and be at peace, regardless of the outcome. It makes sense, then, that the title of my last book is “Innately Good…dispelling the myth that we’re not.”

When we spend enough quality time to get to know who we are, we realize how wonderfully made we are! But that means stopping the busyness, all the excuses we find not to be alone with ourselves. It means ceasing our efforts to make ourselves good enough — with another promotion, a bigger house, a trip, even meeting the needs of others, so that we don’t have to face our own needs. The reason we’re so busy is that we can’t get enough of whatever we fill our lives up with, to make us happy. We keep adding more and more and more.

When we break away from the treadmill, we find out that everything we were looking for — nothing more than happiness, really — was right there within us all along. The only way to be happy is to be true to what’s inside.… More

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