Love has no agenda …

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You’ve never seen him (or her) before — the guy across the room smiling at you. And he’s hot, not because he has a chiseled jaw or even a full head of hair, but because he’s unabashedly looking at what he likes. You! Now what?

If you’re not in a relationship, you can’t wait to find out! If you are in a relationship, this is a test. How strong is your commitment, the thing that keeps you faithful?

You are likely to stay committed as long as you think you can get more of what you want where you are than you could get elsewhere; and you’re likely to break your commitment if you decide you can get more of what you want some place else. So, what do you want? Chances are, neither a chiseled jaw nor hot sex is at the top of your list. Knowing what IS on your list — as well as his — can keep you both satisfied, rather than feeling stuck. It’s not just a matter of staying or knowing that you will; it’s a matter of knowing that you want to.

You don’t commit once and for all; you are continually choosing.

And commitment is a two-edged sword.… More