Jan Denise – Page 888

Letting go …

Holding on until something better comes along doesn’t work. Letting go does. … More

Grow out of it …

If you’re dissatisfied in your relationship, the best thing you can do is grow out of it! And it just might grow with you! … More

Meeting our own needs can be one of our biggest challenges in a relationship. But when we have aligned our needs and desires with love (in the broad sense of the word), we can trust that meeting them serves our highest good–and our partner’s.

If I share my needs/feelings to make my partner guilty and me right, then he (or she) is likely to respond the way a fan responds to shit. But if I share because not to share would be to deny or compromise who I am, then he’s likely to honor (and be served by) my sharing–even if he can’t be supportive. If when my sharing comes from love, he still treats it like shit, I may want to take my feelings elsewhere. And I can do so with peace.

If I move on, or stay, trying to meet my ego’s needs, I don’t have that peace. I have unrest.

I have what I have when I don’t do what I need to do for me. What I need to do for me is to be true to myself. It’s a simple truth, but easy to lose, whether we’re in a relationship or not.

If I’m still looking for a partner, my true self wants a trusted companion who tunes into me.… More

Home Run, from a man’s perspective …

Wow, did I ever hit the proverbial “home run.” It took me some 54 years of trying, but I finally figured it out. Figured what out, you ask? How to have a relationship? How to find the woman of my dreams? How to understand a woman?

Yes. Yes. Yes. And here come the answers — if you want them.

Love. Love. Love.

No-brainer, right? Slow learner, too. I had to learn for myself what love is, and it took a long time, with lots of bruising and pain along the way. Just as importantly, I learned what love is not.

The path of love is very narrow. It is displaced by ego, power, control and the love of anything other than yourself, the people around you and God’s creation. Yes, guys — loving your car is different from loving your girlfriend or wife. And toys are just that: toys.

So after bumping around all over the place, how did I find love?

I started by loving myself. As my wife likes to say, you can only love another as well as you love your Self. Through knowledge, understanding and forgiveness of my mistakes, I found an empowering love and goodness within me.… More