We can’t get enough sex; because there isn’t enough sex to satisfy our need for love. But we keep trying; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody. Somebody gets us! And that’s the love we want … but the boundaries automatically go up again. We’re left wanting. And we Band-aid our dissonance, until it drives us to heal our wounds. Then we can share our nakedness as the best of who we are, to know authentic love–with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute.… More

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Unconditional acceptance is part of unconditional love … but extending it to an intimate partner is tough. What makes it possible, or helps to balance it is detachment. I can accept my partner, his (or her) traits, his behavior, his remarks unconditionally; and I can also detach myself from them, in the sense that I’m not disturbed by them. I trust him. I trust love. I’m not afraid he’s going to make a mistake and mess up my life.

Love is undeterred. … More