Jan Denise – Page 855

Mark Twain would remind us …

Sometimes we forget the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning. And we hold the power to strike the light, to be the light. … More

The most powerful action we can take to reach a goal is to decide that we truly and wholeheartedly want to reach it. In doing so, we weigh the cost against the rewards, and inspire the steps necessary to reach it. … More

You are somebody’s “10”!

In desperate moments, we just want somebody to have dinner with…but in our heart of hearts, we want to be cherished. We want to be completely known and loved by somebody who thinks we’re perfect.

For years I’m sure there were people who thought I was way too picky or idealistic. Some of them gave words to their exasperation, “What do you think you’re going to do with Mr. Perfect when you find him? Isn’t he going to want somebody perfect?”

I wasn’t looking for anybody else’s idea of perfection, though. The 35-year-old on the cover of “Fortune” will likely go for somebody younger…OK, maybe taller and richer, too. But, hey, 35 isn’t perfect for me. And maybe it isn’t perfect for you, either.

There is somebody out there who is perfect for you, though, and you can trust that you are perfect for him (or her), as well.

When Ann Weber, professor of psychology at the University of N.C. at Chapel Hill, first told me, “A five is going to be most happy with a five,” I cringed. I am idealistic enough that assigning a number — a five (out of 10) — to humans in search of love seemed cold.… More

Finding one in a million …

Of all the people on the planet, how is it that we end up with one…and maybe even purport that one to be the one?

What attracts two people to each other? And, perhaps more importantly, what makes two people compatible?

What attracts us is generally what we can see. Women are attracted to resources and dominance. Don’t cringe — think of it as biology. For thousands of years, women looked to men to provide for them and their babies. And even today, studies show that women are attracted to a strong jaw during ovulation, a rounder face during other times of the month.

Men are attracted to fertility — curves and rosy cheeks. They, too, are programmed to propagate their genes.

It seems initial attraction can be summed up in the pursuit of survival. It is, as my friend says, all about sex. Bioevolution is excruciatingly slow and here to stay. We may as well recognize it for what it is and enjoy it.

Still, we have learned — often the hard way — that there is much more to compatibility and love than initial attraction. What makes two people compatible is similarity. Opposites may attract, but attraction doesn’t make them compatible.… More