When we step back and witness our own life, we can see it from a more Godly, more loving, perspective.
That allows us to also live it with more awareness. It allows us to actually experience it with less pain and more joy. And it inspires us to exercise our own creative power. … More
When I talk about love, I’m generally talking about my concept of “authentic love.” It extends beyond romantic love or even consummate love shared with a life partner. Love is everything good; it is the force for good. It is pure and resolute, with no self-serving agenda, with no degrees or deviation. It is passion and peace. It is responsibility and freedom, strength and tenderness, rock solid and transparent. It is defenseless yet invulnerable! It is neither pride nor shame. It is fearless, unconditional, unifying, compassionate, and healing. It is mine, yours, nobody’s, and everybody’s. It can’t be seen, or touched, or quantified; but it is everywhere. It is everything. It is the only thing that matters. … More
From a reader:
I am a 46-year-old man who has been divorced for almost four years, with part-time custody of my 8-year-old daughter. I am getting discouraged with the whole dating thing and do not want just a casual affair. I am handsome, caring, professional, artistic, funny, handy, intelligent, I cook, and I truly care about other people. I know this may come across as arrogant, but I am truly not.
I can’t seem to meet someone I can have a meaningful relationship with. I am not super-picky, I just want someone who takes care of herself, is moral, enjoys life, has no addictions and can give and receive love. I think this is pretty basic stuff.
It consistently appears to me that if you treat women with somewhat neglect, they want you. Treat them with respect and romance, and it sends them packing. …I make a strong effort not to come on too strong within the first few months of a relationship.
A friend of mine who is female said that I scare women off because I seem too good to be true. What do you think is my problem?
Expensive cars, powerful jobs, and I-can-have-anybody-I-want attitudes get a woman’s attention, much the way red lips and exposed curves get a man’s.… More
I want to get close to somebody, but I can’t seem to develop the kind of meaningful relationship I want. Truth is, I’m not very good at relationships in general. And my loneliness during the holidays made that all too clear!
Unfortunately, when we most need to connect, we’re apt to feel vulnerable and withdraw or put up a wall that goes where we go. While trying to protect our hearts from pain, we protect them — perhaps, more so — from love.
How do we open our hearts to the love we want, without taking a bullet in the process?
The best answer is to know — and love — yourself so well that you don’t personalize rejection; but that can be the work of a lifetime. For the moment, you can accept that intimacy is worth the risk and make a conscious effort to lower your defenses.
The problem is that you might have no idea what your emotional defense mechanisms look like, let alone how to drop them. You could be using a shield today that you unconsciously developed 30 years ago.
So — especially if you don’t know you’re protecting your heart — take a look at the following list of emotional defense mechanisms lovingly presented by Marilyn Kagan, LCSW, and Neil Einbund, Ph.D.,… More
This Valentine’s Day, no matter where you are — on the fence, fizzling out, stuck on the surface, or alone — I have practical tips for you. You’ll find you in one of the lists below.
Are you trying to decide if he (or she) is not that into you? Before you break the bank or take time off from work to try harder, he’s probably not that into you if:
1. He’s not that into himself. And you can tell how into himself he is by how well he knows himself — not how arrogant he is.
2. He doesn’t know who you are — not what you do for a living or a list of facts — what’s important to you, what you stand for, what you’re passionate about.
3. He doesn’t respect you for who you are.
4. He’s more interested in what you do together than just spending time together.
5. He talks to you but doesn’t listen to you or listens to you but doesn’t talk to you.
6. He doesn’t introduce you to his family and friends or take you to his office party.
7. He spends money freely on himself but skimps on you.… More
When we forget that marriage is more than a promise to abstain from sex with somebody else, it can seem like only one partner cheated. In truth, marriage is a promise to love and honor; and abstaining from sex with others is a byproduct of that. The first partner to cheat is not necessarily the one to have sex with somebody else.
Let’s not deceive ourselves. Let’s learn how to truly love and honor. … More
Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.
DISCOVER:
~ What love really is
~ Who you are, apart from the facade
~ What it actually looks like to love you
~ How it feels to exercise the freedom to be youClick to Read More
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