Divorce is gut-wrenching. It amputates a part of us, with sometimes-vague warning signs and no anesthesia.

But we are resilient! We lean on friends and family. We find new companionship and financial support, and we learn from what didn’t work. We heal. We move on stronger than we were.

The path, however, can be long and excruciating. We decide when to face the truth, or how long we want to drag out the lessons.

Often what is most difficult to work through is failure or rejection. One coaching client told me, “I can’t believe she doesn’t want me.” When somebody makes an effort to hold on to us, we feel valued. When somebody misses our presence, we feel affirmed.

From a reader:

“Even though I have been divorced three years, it is still very, very hard for me emotionally. I thought that getting the abuse out of the house would be blissful … instead, raising children alone and dealing with all the financial issues is very stressful.

I have friends and family who help. And I have a good job … but still feel alone, sad and worried a lot. I read positive books and try to be around positive events and people.… More

WHEN WE GET ENOUGH LOVE, EVERYTHING ELSE IS THERE! But we can forget the truth when money, or sex, or pretty, or approval lures us. Coming home to authentic love IS the fairytale!… More

We can’t get enough sex; because there isn’t enough sex to satisfy our need for love. But we keep trying; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody. Somebody gets us! And that’s the love we want … but the boundaries automatically go up again. We’re left wanting. And we Band-aid our dissonance, until it drives us to heal our wounds. Then we can share our nakedness as the best of who we are, to know authentic love–with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute.… More