Jan Denise – Page 838

Love of your life … or infatuation?

Love of your life or infatuation?

Remember the first time you fell in love? Nothing else mattered! Because for the moment, love made it all disappear.

Life would be simpler if we could lie down and wait for a magical kiss — or even one of Cupid’s arrows — and then walk off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I had my heart set on something more closely resembling that than what I got; but as it turns out, simpler isn’t better.

Along the way, I’ve had my share (OK, more than my share) of magical kisses, arrows and sunsets. There’s a lot of ground between those and happily ever after, though, and it’s under-covered in love stories.

Chances are, the first time you “fell in love” is really the first time you got infatuated. And infatuation is irrational and short-lived!

It feels bigger than life, though, like the moon and the stars, and everything you ever wished for all wrapped up in a titillating package that you can actually get your arms around! Well, temporarily.

When infatuation strikes, it’s generally unfounded; so, unless you move quickly to put a foundation under it, it fizzles. And, let’s face it, you’re way too busy making googly eyes to build a foundation.… More

Now …

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What are you learning now?

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You’ve got this …

I don’t have to change the situation to feel better. I just have to see me for who I am!… More

Looking for a relationship?

When in doubt, nobody is too good for love! And you ARE love! Stand on that! … More

Are you present when you make love?

After we had walked the trails, Sam and I lay back on the grass next to the water. Although we were en route to the car, this was my favorite part! I had the warmth of the sun, a serene view of the water, and my sweetie. I felt alive and perfectly connected…and I wanted the feeling to last.

I suggested that we get lunch and eat by the water, explaining that I wanted to bask in the feeling, rather than rush home. Sam agreed. We headed to the concession and returned with chicken strips and French fries to share.

We lingered. It was lovely and peaceful — Sam even fell asleep — but it never felt quite the same as it had earlier.

As soon as I started planning, I got out of the moment. When I looked to the future, trying to prolong the feeling, I was no longer present with what I wanted to revel in.

It occurred to me, no surprise here, that this is the temptation with lovemaking. Ideally, we can be conscious of pleasure without getting out of the flow. I think it is easier to just close our eyes and be unconscious OR conjure up our best attempt at fireworks…because that’s what we have practiced.… More