We’ve all tried to put our “best foot” forward for a hot prospect, while trying to hide our “worst foot.” Predictably, we fall on our face.

If we want an enduring relationship, we have to stand on our own two feet, the truth of who we are, for better or worse. There’s nothing more liberating or satisfying, but that’s a little known — or experienced — fact.

Why? When we fall on our face, instead of getting the lesson, we’re apt to lose some of our confidence … and the more confidence we lose, the more scared we are to gamble with what little we have left!

Thus, we find ourselves trying to have heart-to-heart talks and relationships while shielding our hearts and stumbling over our own two feet. We think that if we can just manage to keep our “flaws” under wraps until after the “I-dos,” everything will be OK.

When it’s not, we can learn from it, or we can reinforce our defenses and keep our distance. Enter the emotionally unavailable.

By hiding the pieces of ourselves that we fear will be rejected, we live a lonely existence, regardless of how visible we make our facade in the process.… More

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