Jan Denise – Page 184

Dear Friends — Must you do it yourself?

Do you sometimes feel like if you want the nitty-gritty done, you have to do it yourself. I have long felt that way. What’s changing is my willingness to just get it done, without feeling sorry for myself or overwhelmed, I’m rather grateful, instead, that I’m so competent. Okay, I’m smiling. But I’m not kidding. It feels good to know that I’m not at anybody’s mercy.

I can pull the weeds nobody else seems willing to pull. I can take care of my mom with confidence and love. I’m more ready than ever to take the first step, without being able to see the next one. I just know I’ve got it … because love’s got me.

And here’s my favorite part: Once we’re fearless in tackling the job, whatever it is, we are less likely to have to do the job. The REAL job is always the lesson. You can handle what you’re facing. The lesson is knowing that. It’s okay if you have to prepare and develop competence. You can.

Love smiles,… More

Choosing love is living love, everything good …

… More

Authentic Love

We talk about love a lot. Here’s what I’m talking about:
Authentic Love is my concept of love. It extends far beyond romantic love or even consummate love shared with a life partner.

Authentic Love is everything good; it is the force for good. It is pure and resolute, with no self-serving agenda, with no degrees or deviation. It is passion and peace. It is responsibility and freedom, strength and tenderness, rock solid and transparent. It is defenseless and invincible! It is neither pride nor shame. It is fearless, unifying, compassionate, and healing.

It is mine, yours, nobody’s, and everybody’s. It can’t be seen, or touched, or quantified; but it is everywhere. It is everything. It is the only thing that matters. … More

Entertain each other first …

We have more entertainment at our fingertips than ever, but are we any less apt to be bored in our relationships?

Most of us carry our own personal entertainment screen around with us — our favorite people, music, reading material, and games. If somebody keeps us waiting, or just bores us, we can escape. Among other things, this promotes zero tolerance for boredom. Ironically it also promotes boredom … because our needs for stimulation are not really met by the little screen. And our needs for intimacy and companionship may be getting buried altogether.

So if you’re bored in your relationship, don’t blame your partner; and don’t jump to the conclusion that you are boring. You’re not boring; you’re merely absent. To know how entertaining you are, you have to show up.

Do it before you grow more complacent or distant from each other. When there’s a moment of silence, choose to be present with your sweetheart — instead of moving on. When there’s a moment of tension, explore and understand what you’re feeling — instead of escaping to a screen, ice cream, or whatever else you keep on hand.

With the upcoming holidays, you want to be warm and inviting as a couple.… More