“Relationships don’t work when people get hooked up with opposites, instead of partners with similar traits who like what they like,” says one reader.

Not bad … but oversimplified.

“Similar” is most apt to work when two people accept who they are, and are no longer trying to get somebody else to make up for what’s “missing.” Opposites sometimes attract each other to compensate for what they think they lack.

If, for example, you long to be comfortable socializing, you might be attracted to somebody who’s outgoing and well connected in the community. And although, as an introvert, you could be intrigued by a socialite for a while, novelty is generally short lived. While an extrovert is fueled by the crowd, an introvert is drained by it — even when enjoying it — and might want more space to catch his (or her) breath than he can find with an extrovert.

This is a perfect example of how two people can get enthralled with each other — briefly. Infatuation rarely survives for more than a year.

On the other hand, if you’ve learned that you can mingle with a crowd of strangers, and still prefer to spend your time with intimate friends, you just might accept yourself as-is.… More

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