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It’s hard enough not to personalize rejection, but sexual rejection is by nature deeply personal.

When you want to have sex with somebody who’s not interested, it can hurt to the core … especially when they choose to have sex with somebody else. And the pain may be more prevalent with married people than single.

When you’re married, it’s about more than sex. You’ve already committed to one person, the very one who’s rejecting you. As a single person, let’s be honest, you may have been more hungry for sex than intimacy; and you’re free to eat elsewhere.

When we’ve shared our most private physical parts (or tried to) with somebody who just looks the other way, it can feel like we just got sucker punched. After all, before we laid ourselves out there (maybe emotionally as well), we thought we had some reason to believe that the other party was game. And even if we were more interested in meeting a physical need than an emotional one, we feel rejected. It’s personal; and it’s painful.

It’s not about the color of your shirt or your taste in wallpaper. Hey, you could change those.

Your sexual desires are biological; and your sexuality is rooted in beliefs, often the ones you took on as a child without even realizing it.… More